NEVER EVER give up on YOU...Bix 7 recap

Well that was quite the weekend...so much that I had to take one more day to recoup!

Can I just say prepare to be in a lot of pain if you don't train for a long distance run...especially one with ALL hills! :)

I was so nervous the day before I barely ate, I also didn't drink nearly enough water which I would soon find out the next day!

The morning of the race was down right COLD for July.

J came with me ( through no coercion of me... ;))

I was so grateful he drove because that meant that I didn't have to find a parking spot....this race had over 18,000 runners/walkers this year.

HOLY crap...that is a ton of people to be IN a race!

I met with my two besties before the race, but they were in a different heat than I was...the one in front of me was theirs.

They are seasoned runners and seasoned at this race so I was fine with not running with them.

I was told so many things before I did this race my head was literally spinning.

"Do the Bix at 6"- this was the practice runs every Thursday leading up to the race!

"don't do the bix at 6"

"start out running up Brady"

"Walk up the hills and run down the hills"

In the end I mixed a little of everything!  I did start out running and got about half way up before I needed to rest....walked a bit and then ran to the top.

Once I was at the top I slowed down....I was already extremely tired..annddd I had started to lose feeling in my hands and my face.....weirdest feeling EVER!

I got through mile 1 and thought "holy shit I have 6 of these bitches left?"

I walked up the hills and would run down them, only to get to the last hill before turning around....that hill was such a bitch!

I am talking think of the steepest incline possible and walk up it.....twice (on the way back!)

One of the hills seemed to last FOREVER...but I will say on my way back I was doing ok, and then mid way through that last upward hill I started to feel sick.

I thought I was going to pass out.

I wanted to stop...I wanted to give up.

I saw a medic cart drive by and wanted to scream "WAIT...you forgot ME!!!"

But something in my kept me from screaming, kept me from stopping!

What was it? Well one was my sweet blogger friend Mel, I have seriously never "met" such a sweet supportive woman.

I started crying when the race was over because I had noticed she dedicated her 10 miler that morning to me...ME!!! How awesome is that!?

Another aspect was J...I had guilted him into coming and then I was gonna give up....I would never hear the end of it!

The biggest thing though was myself. I could say that I had nothing to prove but that would be a huge freaking lie!

I had a lot to prove....to those who made fun of me growing up, to those who never thought I was pretty enough or good enough.

Mostly to prove to myself that I could do it...and that all those things said to me years and years ago were in fact just words....and although those words sting for many years after YOU are the sole decider on how many years that lasts.

I am pretty enough..I am good enough...damn it I deserve to be great!

I can't describe to you the feeling you get when you finish a big race like that and you see the finish line...typing this now is bringing back those emotions of fighting through pain and getting my ass across that line.

I am tearing up not because of sadness of my time not being fantastic, but of pure JOY...I Lindsay finished the Bix...did I run the whole thing? NO...did I walk most of it? ABSOLUTELY....did I train at all...UHHH stupidly NO....but I finished it.

The girl that 10 years ago said she hated running, it was stupid and I would NEVER be a runner.

Well my dears, never say never....you just don't know what might motivate you to kick some booty!

That last 1/2 mile for me was probably the hardest I have ever pushed myself...I wanted to puke, I was tired, I was freezing and everytime I would start to run towards that finish I would get a calf cramp...badd...so I'd have to walk a few steps then run....then repeat!

All I know is there is no way I could have or would have gone through without so much support.  I also know that there is no excuse for me to NOT follow through on something ever again.

The rest of the weekend was spent RELAXING....I got to spend some wonderful time with one of my besties who is also a bridesmaid and lives in Colorado.

Friends since grade school...going strong!

"OPEN YOUR EYES"....we still have one bar left!

This past weekend was exhausting yet quite possibly one of the best I have had in a LONG LONG time.

My boo <3

 

Finished the bix- Check
2 bridesmaids dresses down- check

Don't ever EVER give up on yourself...you never know what awesome task you will conquer!

Royal Ball Run- What Autism means to me

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I was going to do a weekend round up, but I thought this topic was much too important to not have its own post!

Saturday not only marked the 2nd 5k EVER, but also the first one I have actually put effort into running.

It was HARD Y'all!

I haven't been training as well as I should..meaning I haven't run very many times since the last one, so for me to get in under 50 minutes while running only half Id say that's a good place to start!!

I picked up my packet Friday evening, and the shirts are that amazing soft stuff that doesn't hold the sweat...BONUS!

Saturday morning was race day and there were people dressed up in "royal" costumes and such and I was starting to get nervous!

My nerves were just sitting in my stomach...I turned on my Nike plus app and waited to press START!

I have to tell you guys, I am a pretty emotional person, and when it comes to me doing things I never thought possible for myself, I get kinda sappy.

I hit mile 1 and thought ok, I am tired but this isn't too bad, then I rounded the corner and my shins were hurting as well as my ankle, but then a little boy popped in my head that sad keep going..this is bigger than you!

I went up the hill to the trail and thought wow I am actually doing this...I am doing this by myself....even better!

I was almost to mile 2 when I started to get really tired, my legs felt like Jello, and I wanted to just walk the rest of the way..and then my music did what it does best and plays a song that pushes me on!

The song was "Outta My Mind" by Anthem Heights. Its a contemporary christian group, normally I listen to Nelly or try to shake it for Luke Bryan while I run, but I have this song on there because it reminds me that you have to take control of your mind back.

Most of the time our bodies can withstand more than we think, but our minds say...STOPPPPPPP eat a cheeseburger...NOW damn it!

At this point I started to tear up...I was running, ME...Lindsay I was doing it, I was racing and not because people told me I could, but because of those who thought I couldn't.

For all of those people who talked about me behind my back growing up ( girls can be bitches), for those people who doubt that I am serious this time...mostly for myself...to know that THIS time is it...no more excuses!!

I almost lost it, I finished out the race running/walking...and I ran the last .10 of a mile...I had to run through the finish and although there weren't many people there....the feeling of those people cheering you on is amazing!

My mom was waiting for me at the finish line, she has had her fair share of struggles and I told her "your goal should be to do this with me!"

I won't give up until she does it with me!

After the race I was HUNGRRRYYY! I ate a banana before but obviously those calories were burned off ( score), we went to HY VEE which was next to the finish line and ate breakfast with my gparents...not the best place we could have eaten but it did in a pinch. I may have cheated and had a piece of bacon...sue me!

Now some of you may be wondering who the little boy was that "spoke" to me, no its not a spirit..he is real!

He is my soon to be nephew and such a complete joy.

This is a much younger picture of him than he is now, but it works (isn't he a cutie)

He is so smart, I am talking GENIUS!

He is the sweetest little boy you could ever dream of meeting, but some people become confused by his sudden outbursts and think "what poor parenting" when in reality its not that at all, things trigger him that wouldn't trigger a kid who is not autistic.

It could be a noise ( be it too loud or too high), it could be the number of people, it could be the type of people ( lots of little kids).

If the stress or feeling in the room is chaotic he will lose it, and it is not his or anybody else's fault, it is simply because his brain doesn't work the same as the rest of us.

You know what that's ok, because he is a pretty awesome kid.

If you don't know anything about Autism I encourage you to find more information ( there is a lot out there thanks to the Internet)

Most importantly, don't always assume that the kid having a fit in the store or the restaurant is a bratty kid or that there is someone to blame...it may just be that his/her sensitivity to the surroundings has been heightened and he cant take it.

If you are claustrophobic imagine being in a mouse hole, if you have anxiety imagine the thing that makes you anxious ( if you have no issues congratulations you are perfect) if you have anything that triggers you be it a fear of something or whatever makes you worry or nervous..times that by 100 and you might come close to how an autistic child feels on an almost daily basis!

Ok there's my soap box for the day!! Hope you all had a fantastic weekend I know I did..here's a few shots from the rest of my weekend:

Grilled alll by myself...last time I may or may not have melted the siding on our old house...oops! Ps this was delicious!!!

Retail Therapy! THANK YOU TARGET!

well its not a complete trip with out a first aid kit and new nail polish!

my lovely bird dogs at work...this was HELL keeping them away from that little

 baby

can you see the baby bird?! :)

Air Show...talk about Swamp Ass...yikes!

popcorn made the right way...perfect Sunday afternoon snack/dinner!