Back to my roots.....

So as I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out where I have gone wrong....it occurs to me, I have lost my passion.

My passion for being healthy for WANTING to live a healthy lifestyle.

My passion for cooking.

My passion for setting goals and keeping myself accountable!

I have been STUCK in the biggest RUT of healthy lifestyle thoughts that I literally have fallen face first off the damn wagon.

I shit you not...I have been cleaning dirt out of my teeth all damn week!

Tonight as I was racking my brain on what to cook for dinner...and decided on these disgusting jalapeno hot dogs and baked southwestern chips...it hit me like the hot dogs hit my stomach.

I used to LOVE cooking...I loved making up recipes..creating healthier dishes out of non healthy ones...then I tried to add 50 lbs of working out into all of that...PLUS trying not to eat so much artificial stuff...and let me tell you its EFFING HARD PEOPLE!
My brain literally did a freakin 180...and then I puked!

I stopped looking up fun new recipes to try.

Then I slowly stopped running....sigh...

and then Turbo went to the way side....double sigh

and amazingly enough the scale went up.....HOW DID THAT HAPPEN....ummmm let me think!

I originally started this blog because I wanted to share my love of cooking...and then it turned into healthy cooking ( I was straight up Paula Dean PRE diabetes y'all)...then it turned into healthy lifestyle.....

you all know where I'm going with that.....no where fast!

I am no longer able to get on Pinterest at work...HOW RUDE-seriously they expect me to work?! WTH!..I kid I kid...kinda

I actually just quit Pinterest all together..GHASP...I know...seriously its my heaven!.....BUT I felt like I was seeing the same Pins every time I looked.

As I was scrolling through tonight it hit me...see above...Why did I stop trying new recipes?

Why did I stop monthly meal plans?

This is probably the hardest one for me....I seriously NEVER know what to make for dinner when I get home....like EVER...so I either eat crap...or throw random things together like tuna...carrots and celery with Ranch...I'm awesome like that!

Why did I stop using my fantastic work out planner that I said would be my ticket?

WHY? Because I was trying to do 50 million things all at once...I was trying to eat healthy and by that I mean as clean as possible plus work out (which I wasn't doing before), plus make ERRYTHING from scratch....ain't nobody got time fo dat. 

I just simply over loaded myself with all things healthy and got burnt out!


I am running my first 5k on Saturday...and guess what I am not even CLOSE to being prepared..in fact if I make it through it without dying I will consider it a huge success!!
  
         PS I get my race packet tomorrow...is it weird that it's like Christmas for me?!

Then out of left field I am told I need to be wedding dress shopping right MEOW!.....ARE YOU SERIOUS...I do NOT want to see this in a BIG WHITE DRESS!

That is sooo not the feeling I want to have when trying on the dress for one of the most important and special days of my life.

I want to feel pretty.....but guess what I realized....I am pretty....I am smart...I am strong

So why is it that I don't feel those things...I know them but don't feel them? AM I CRAZY!?

No...just sucked into that lovely little thing called the media and air brushed fake people! 

Well I am done! I don't want to feel miserable anymore...I am on the right track for this lifestyle just on a big hiccup.

I have a LOT of races coming up and this is my first so I can only improve.

My eating habits have been well a lack there of lately BUT I know what works for me and I know HOW to eat healthy which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

I am going to make a new goal every day...and hope that I can just stick to that one goal and then add on from there! Seems simple right?!

Tonight- yes I have had a craptastic day...totally had fast food for lunch- and it was gross! BUT I am starting RIGHT NOW.....so 30 day ab challenge it is!!

So my goal for tomorrow....drum roll please....

           Log ALL OF MY FOOD tomorrow!+ 30 day ab challenge

Yes I know how to do this..yes I have done it in the past BUT I have gotten away from it!

My biggest problem time is between snack and lunch...I am going to plan out my food right now for tomorrow so there are no choice issues!

Friday: Log all of my food (this one will be tricky I have training ALL DAY so no blog post- we are LEAVING at 430 AM and won't be back til around 8ish..I know you are sooooo jealous of my job right now ;)) +30 day ab challenge AND No candy- I have been on a candy BINGE lately ( Sour patch kids didn't see it coming)

Memorial Day Weekend- deeper than a BBQ

Welllll it's Tuesday and yet again I have missed a couple bloggerific days.

Friday I was off work early, and it was AMAZING!

I went to get my hair "did"....I am totally one of those girls who gets her hair cut about twice a year....no JOKE!

The girl who cuts my hair has known me forever and I get a lot of shit for going so long without cutting it...I am hella poor y'all!

I am determined however to get my hair cut on a REGULAR basis...ya know like normal people do, this year anyway. I want gorgeous hair on my big day..not dried-split-ended-nastiness.

After that J and I decided...ok J decided we needed to get our yard work done before all of the raining began!- So glad we did!!

I planted my beautiful Gladiola bulbs while he mowed..and scared poor baby girl to death! :(

   I was totally fine with that because when she's sick/scared is about the only time she wants to be held :(

Saturday Morning I took her for her 9 week shots....so sad..but she did great! She wasn't entirely sure about the car ride there and shook in my arms the entire way.  The way home was a tad different...she was out before we left the parking lot!

Can I just say dogs have got to be the creators of "silent but deadly" I swear I almost puked...had it not been raining I would have been able to put my window down....Thanks Mother Nature!

Well since the weather decided it didn't want to cooperate at ALL we decided to get our "errands" done...trips to Menard's and Farm and Fleet were made and I got this little gem...lovvee it..and it has gel in it to be frozen..HOLLA!

Does anyone else have "errand" trips that result in buying wayyyy more stuff on your list?...I guess it helps if you don't lose said list!!...oops

Afterwards J and I decided to start the partying early! We never get this much alone time..and I must say I felt pretty dang spoiled! :)

We were having a few people over for supper and his nephews and niece were a nice added surprise.

We played a couple rounds of Battle of the Sexes- super fun game if you have never played it!

Sunday J decided he hadn't had enough spending of the money so we went to IC, and my broski came with us!! :) Super fabulous mall!!

I got some pretty dang good buys- and my floppy hat I have been dying to get my hands on for the past 2 summers!

We then went to Whitey's....obviously this is what you do when you are done shopping right?!  If you aren't from the Midwest..you are SERIOUSLY missing out...Graham central station is my all time favorite ice cream!

What you can't see are all of the children falling down ice skating...I was dying! (mostly because that's what I look like while running!)

Memorial Day we took it pretty easy, but made sure to keep the armed forces (both current, retired, and those who paid the ultimate sacrifice) in our thoughts and prayers.

I am a huge movie lover...no seriously I just sold about 35 movies at our yard sale and I didn't even touch how many I have still!.....I was a poor college kid and clothes made me depressed so would buy movies instead!....Slightly out of control!

J however, is not a movie fan so much....he doesn't have the patience...think of a 5 year old at a movie...yeah that's J.  Since it was raining and yucky I knew I could talk him into it...I can only go see movies he would also like so it was either Hangover 3 or Fast and Furious 6 (the obvious choice for me was the second).  We went to the new theater and although I got made fun of for having a thing about movie theater popcorn needing to be delicious I ordered it anyway...I was delighted that it was sooo yummy!

The movie was fantastic...hello Paul walker anddddd Vin Diesel....how could it not be?!

After the movie I was left feeling gross...I didn't eat great at all the whole weekend+beer+ice cream+ Pepsi+ popcorn= disgusting!

I made Manicotti from scratch for supper (recipe soon) and I had a salad with mine. I felt much better afterwards.

Today's choices have been easy ( I bought a new bikini and I have to get in it in about 4 weeks...sooo yeahhh there's that) I have done well so far today and I have my abs challenge tonight and some arms Right meow! Next is Cardio Bitches!!

"We Own It" new running song

Whew that was way longer than I thought it would be! Hope you all had a wonderful LONGGGG weekend!!

Progress NOT perfection...30 Ab Challenge

Sorry I have been MIA the last couple days, Tuesday I was out of town early in the morning until late in the evening and I did not have time to get a post in. Yesterday I was so torn on what to write, and felt like I was forcing it.

Forcing it is something I NEVER want to happen on this blog. I pride myself on being real with people. I can't stand fake people. Now i must tell you I find there is a difference in "fake" people and people who avoid confrontation...which sometimes ends up being me. I will be nice to everyone, but I know who to trust and who not to trust.

I have definitely gotten away from my true self with all the negativity I have had and caused in my life lately.

I want that to stop NOW! I am definitely someone who struggles with letting stupid things get me down! I fall into a spin of negativity and find it hard to get back out.

After everything that has happened, it really makes me realize those stupid things I get depressed about are just that stupid. 

I have a house to keep me warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

I have a car that runs...for now..but it does run. It may not be a Lexus like I would like..but you know what it runs just fine and appearances aren't everything as we all know!

I have a loving family and friends who would do anything for me.

Why the need for depression? Well, money, jealousy, and pride can be the ugliest things on earth if you let them control you!

I have no room for jealousy in my life when it comes to most things. I have no room for comparing myself to others and what they have.

The one exception comes with body image. Although I wouldn't categorize it as jealousy but more longing to motivate myself the way those women have.

It amazes me and I still have not hit the light bulb which is so frustrating!

I know I have made progress, just not as much as I had hoped, 6 months later...However I am starting to feel more comfortable in my cute clothes again...here's yesterday's #OOTD

necklace from Metal Marvels; sweater from Victoria's Secret

Today I am starting the 30 Day ab challenge with Holly at Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.  This one is going to be tough/simple. Its ONLY 15 minutes a day! 15 MINUTES! If I can't do this I can't do any!

Yesterday I also added a side bar you may have noticed, I am keeping myself accountable by listing the races I WILL be Running.

At this rate I will totally be able to hit my 12 by March! :) I wrote about my 36 goals in 365 days Here.

http://www.petiteathleat.com/p/the-300.html

So, I guess my point is today is try to find the positive side of your life vs only seeing the things you AREN'T doing, or how far you have LEFT! How far have you come?

For me...a year ago I was just getting into THINKING about trying the C25K, I was trying ANOTHER gimmick..that guess what DID NOT WORK long term. Oh I dropped about 20 lbs, but guess what I gained it back when I quit the program....SHOCKING!

Now I am a LOT more conscious of what I eat, and I have a plan of action for work outs. I love my Turbo Fire, but have gotten away from it.

I play sand volley ball on Wednesdays and Fridays in a beer league. Plus I have a goal to run 12 races before next March.

 I am slowly making progress but isn't that the point? Progress

What are your positive outlooks today? How far have you come? Don't discredit what you HAVE done just because you aren't finished yet!!

PS...if you would like to join in on the Ab challenge you haven't missed a beat go check out the link under the picture for the moves. Today is Day 1...its only 15 minutes....you know you have that amount of time at your disposal, you can even do it while watching TV....now you have no excuse!

Out with the old..in with the get my butt in GEAR!

Happy Monday blog world!

I must say I am in a much better mood this Monday vs last Monday. Teika (see photo below), our newest member of the family has been doing great sleeping through the night, but that girls alarm goes off at 6:30am EVERY MORNING!

This isn't a bad thing, although I am super tired in the process...I am hoping to make my body be accustomed to this wake up time, so once she grows out of her uncontrollable bladder I will be ready to get up and get my sweat on!

I tried the morning workouts before...and lets just say...Major Fail!

I don't know why I thought I could convince myself to get up earlier than needed...I will totally choose sleep over beauty folks!

So this weekend was busy...SUPER busy actually but I definitely feel like it was a relaxing busy weekend.  J worked Friday night, so I went to his mom's to finish a project I have been trying to get done for over a week! (I will do a sneak peak soon) So I didn't get done until 1am...yikes...then got to sleep in slightly b/c J came home early to go Turkey Hunting..so he let baby girl out to go potty!

Saturday morning I was meeting my mama to go meet up with our Photographer in A-town.  We were there for quite awhile..I went to high school with her so we had plenty to talk about :). If you need a Photographer for anything...go check out Shauna Welch Photography she does an amazing job and for a great price!! :)

Well at that point I thought my stomach was eating itself...maybe that wouldn't be so bad...at any rate I was dying for some Happy Joe's Pizza...for those stopping by, NOT from the Midwest..if you have never had Happy Joe's..you are missing out...home to the Taco Pizza- from what I hear, also a Midwest trend.

J decided he wanted to have friends over for a Fish/mushroom fry....again..Midwest...the mushrooms are morels..and DELICIOUS!  My grandpa lovessss to fish, so is always giving us extras! YUM!

We had a nice spread of snacks...fresh fruit, fresh veggies, chips and salsa and fish/mushrooms! Oh and lets NOT forget about the beer! ;)

My best friend came over and I am happy to announce also my Maid of Honor :), we went over some wedding stuff ( still undecided on my exact table decor). While she was there I remembered I had seen a package on the counter, so I opened it up and this is what I found.

my future monogram :)

My other best friend in Colorado sent my little family each something special....I feel like it is appropriate for me to say my best friends are better than yours! :) I may be biased! :)

Sunday was nothing short of amazing. J has been working a LOT! I barely see him anymore, except passing by at night before he goes to bed, and in the morning before I leave for work. We have gone through this before and its never an issue for us, but it makes me sad, because I miss him!

are they not the most precious furbabies you have ever seen!? :)

Sunday, was all J and Lindsay time. I got up early with the dogs, and then laid on the couch trying to fall asleep while he slept in (poor guy never sleeps).  I made a yummy breakfast and Prepped some veggies for the rest of the week for breakfast (onions and peppers) as well as some bacon ( no nitrates).

I am trying to be super prepared this week to set myself up for SUCCESS and hopefully save myself some money...nothing I hate more than spending a ton of money on groceries except for throwing said groceries away because I "forgot" about them, or decided I didn't "want" them that day.

I have a HUGE bowl of lettuce in the fridge for salads this week..plus cut up fruit, veggies, and cooked onions and peppers to have with my egg in the morning! Now I just need to boil some eggs!

My goal is to save myself time, stress AND MONEY by being a little more prepared for the week! :)

After J got up, we were going to do some things outside, but since Mother Nature decided to have a pissy fit, we got little storm after little storm. So what do you do then? Take a nap duh! It was amazing!

After nap time, we got up and he wanted to go for a four wheeler ride...be still my heart.  So we rode over to his parents house and rode around the farm. We then realized another storm was on its way so we headed back home...never got rained on and the sun was shining over by us so we decided we would be fine if we went over to his buddy's farm.

We got almost all the way down the gravel road, he happened to turn around and see a wall of WHITE! We were about to get poured on! So he goes...SHIT....well we are going to haul ass to make it back! So he whipped a shitty (don't recommend doing that on a four wheeler...on gravel), and we hauled serious ass back toward our house...and then it started raining on us...not too bad....then it started pouring.

I was laughing so hard..but if you have never been on a motorized vehicle without a windshield or roof in the rain, then you know the faster you go...and the harder its raining...the more those sweet little rain drops start to feel like shards of glass pelting your skin.

We pulled up our driveway he ran in and opened the garage door, and I seriously no more pulled that damn thing in and it stopped raining.....NO JOKE! We had a really good laugh, and it is probably one of my favorite memories of us now....I didn't care that I looked like a wet dog, or that our four wheeler ride was cut short.

I have found the man of my dreams, and I can't wait for more adventures with him.

Bet you didn't see this ending coming! :)

Hodge podge of a week and a puppy sneak peak!

Well, I am on Day 12 of the 14 day challenge and week 2 of 10 week, which means only 2 days left of 14 day challenge, HOWEVER, I definitely have not given this challenge the focus it deserves.

The problem..enter excuse one...was I signed up on Sunday and it started that Monday...did not leave ample room to get proper groceries. I did however manage to eat close to the same things. I haven't really done any of the dinners, and last week was much more successful than this week.

I will probably be doing this challenge over and doing it the RIGHT way!!

We got our Puppy on Saturday and this entire week has just been a pile of exhaustion. J works 3 plus farms PLUS does a part time deal during the day now...which means Mama takes care of most everything. All you single mama's out there...I give you props...I know you do it because you have to but I still think you deserve the props. This puppy has been exhausting and a huge eye opener for me.

I know that I want kids...like yesterday, but we get married in a year so hopefully 9 months from that we will have a kid...or twins..because I am next in line...on both sides of my family :).

I definitely took for granted my "me" time before puppy got here..and working 40 hours and making sure she doesn't piddle on the floor or worse...take a shit ( seriously I wonder how all of that fits in her body sometimes).

I digress...needless to say I haven't given 100% this week...I did however have a couple wins...I'm normally not a pop drinker and I hate coffee but I needed caffeine this week..so normally I would have drank Mt. Dew but I opted for Pepsi instead...those of you who are into the clean eating and natural foods will understand why this is huge...Mt dew is prob the worst pop you can drink along with a few others that have a nasty ingredient. Brominated Veg. Oil...look it up! So although I drank pop, I opted for one that may not be QUITE as damaging..at least that's what I tell myself ;)

Win number two came in yesterday when I went to a meeting...at the Y...where they served lunch...Arby's sandwich's...ruffles and brownies. I still don't quite get HOW the Y who promotes healthy families sees it as ok to serve junk at their meetings or allow employees to order in pizza while on shift....logic..non existent! I did not eat any of said food, instead went home and had a turkey sandwich on a wheat round with avocado and carrots/broccoli on the side. Pretty proud of that accomplishment, because I was starvin like marvin yo!

Sorry, my brain is a puddle of mush today so this post is a little all over the place! You're welcome! So just for sticking around here is a little peak at my new baby!! I will do a post on her soon! :)

pretty baby girl...Teika Pistol Annie

This weekend should be fairly laid back and hoping to get a few wedding things crossed off the list! :)

Most Memorable Birthday...linked up

So Holly over at Where We can Live Like Jack and Sally ( one of my new faves...she is hilarious), is having a  link up that started yesterday for the best birthday story. This is her Birthday Week ( I am so happy I am not the only one who needs a week of celebrating her birth...I'm awesome like that..or maybe a Diva)

I feel like I should Disclaimer this right meow, because memorable implies you REMEMBER it...I have just pieced this story together and have flashes of memories by gaps being filled by friends.

So let me just set the stage for you. It's September 2004 2008 and I am turning 22. I am a senior in College...which translates to Full time party-er...you have to get that shit in before the real world (or so I thought).

probably my skinniest ever and I thought I was fat here!

I share a birthday with one of my friends who happened to be one of my roommates that year. He (yes I lived with all boys..girls can be bitches).

Lets just say my birthday buddy likes to party as much as I did..so we had a "double bash"...kind of..we ended up separating in groups and then reuniting.

My best friend came up to spend the night with me but was then leaving in the wee hours for a NASCAR race...I scream class..you will soon realize this!

We started out the night like any other night in college when you are planning on getting...trashed as free as a bird for better lack of terms. I of course decided that I needed a photo of CRUSHING a can....I did not crush said can!

I do not recall a lot about this night..but what I am about to tell you are pieces of information I pieced together with what information I was given.

*Disclaimer..alcohol in large quantities is VERY unhealthy, please do not follow in suit but learn from my mistake.

I know that we left our apartment and headed down town, where we continued to drink lots of beers...shots were bought...etc you can figure out the rest...college kid+ birthday+ alcohol= obvious outcome.

I was on the dance flo...dishing out my sweet moves, and had requested a particular song (which I can not remember) that the DJ would NOT play. This of course made me sad, but I continued to dance ( until that special moment). Towards the end of the night, I was quite unstable on my feet..and may or may not have fallen on the dance floor ( I was 3 for 3 people).

remember when I said mad skills?!?....yeahhh

This is the third year I had been kicked off the dance floor...super classy right?!

At this point my friend had left and went back to my apartment so she could get up in the AM. I however, was not alone, I had a ton of people with me, one of my college friends decided it was time for me to GO! So we were bought a cab by other friends ( apparently I was not capable of making it about 10 or so blocks from downtown to our college.

yikes...kids don't do this at home this is what happens  when you drink too much

We get back to our apartment which requires a key card entrance...but alas I had not key card..and the back door won't yank open like the front...my school had some serious ghetto qualities.  My friend went around to the front,and by the time she came through the building (5 minutes tops) I was laying on the step...in a dress...outside.

She could not get me to get up...but for some odd reason she said army crawl..and I was ALL about it. I had wanted to stay put until she mentioned this.

So I army crawled...in a dress....on our nasty college apartment hallway floor to my door.

I ended up passing out in our living room, when the rest of the party-ers came home, someone decided to poor water on me, because when I woke up the next morning to my friend saying she was leaving....I was soaked.

I remember saying "why am I all wet?"...her response..."OMG did you pee?". It didn't smell like pee, so I figured I was in the clear..plus I was only wet from the chest up...weird right?!

So all in all this is probably my funniest birthday moment...you're welcome!

What's your most memorable moment?

Where have I been?! plus Spagetthi Squash Alfredo

Well first off let me start by saying SORRY!! I have been slightly MIA since last Wednesday, but I will tell you why today!

This weekend was absolutely insane, and I didn't get even close to everything done that I wanted to accomplish! However, I did take care of some big things!!

Thursday night was nuts, I knew I was off Friday so I was trying to get a ton of things done, and then we had a HUGE monsoon hit us....ok maybe not a monsoon but torrential down pour YES. I swear in a matter of minutes our streets were flooded! Here are some of the photos I took, walking about 20 feet to my car I got soaked!!!

I looked like I lost the battle between me and a super soaker with a 5 year old on the other end! I had a serious wet dog look going on...which might I add is always a super cute look! ;)

I planned to get groceries and a few other things I needed for a project (which I still don't have), obviously neither happened.

Friday morning I woke up way later than planned, I was supposed to be at my mom's early to help set up for the yard sale (now I remember why we haven't done one in years...sooo much work).

I ended up making breakfast for J and his buddy, they helped me load my car up to take crap to my mom's. I felt like I was moving to college all over again..ya know when your car is so jam packed you can hardly see out the back window plus there's crap on your front seat! Yeahhh I was that person driving down the road!

Friday night seemed to fly by, we drove up to look at another vehicle for J to drive back n forth to work ( about a 45 minute drive)...he needs a work vehicle b/c his other is a 3/4 ton truck that just gets AMAZING gas mileage! ;)  I ended up leaving him at the dealership to meet someone buying a couple things and then decided I was already there I might as well get groceries...ummm needless to say J was not so pleased..turns out his phone died and he had been waiting for me for almost an hour...oops! ;)

Saturday morning seemed to just jump right at me...J left early as well to go get our new baby girl...(new post to come...I have fur babies).  I was leaving to go to my moms and decided ok Trigger (65 lb German short hair), lets get in the car and go to grandma's. I should mention that we have the MOST nervous dog ever! He hasn't ever been to my mom's (great plan Linds), needless to say we were there a half hour I had to turn around and take him back home so he didn't have a heart attack!

Yard sale went pretty good but we still had crap left over...why thank you Good will for taking all unwanted JUNK!  I was pretty happy with how it went, minus the fact that I was freezing my buns off! Needless to say we definitely won't be having another one until after we are married!

Here is the recipe I said I would share Friday:

Spaghetti Squash Alfredo with Chicken and Broccoli

  1 large/medium spaghetti squash
  1 tbsp butter
  2 tsp minced garlic
  2 tbsp non bleached flour
  1 1/2 Almond Milk (or whatever kind of milk you use)
  1 1/2 oz light cream cheese
 1 cup fresh Parmesan
  3 cups broccoli florets (cooked)
  6 grilled chicken strips (about 3 oz a serving for 2 strips)
 salt and pepper

1. place squash on a baking pan stab holes in like you would a potato before cooking...this is very important!
2. bake squash for AT LEAST an hour at 350
3. Melt cream cheese
4. place butter in a sauce pan let melt, then add garlic and simmer for 10 minutes; add a tbsp of flour at a time and whisk together
5. add in milk slowly to help smooth out clumps

6. add in cream cheese; stir until well mixed then add 1/2 of Parmesan
7. chop up your broccoli and dice the chicken

Once the squash is done; cut it in half and scoop out the seeds; then use a spoon or fork to scrape out your squash. If using a large squash I got about 3 LARGE MEALS.

Top with your broccoli and chicken for a full meal high on taste low on calories!

I didn't have any broccoli so it was just chicken! :)

Happy Tuesday!!

Ain't nobody got time fo dat part 4

Thanks for coming back if you missed the first three parts you can find them here:
                                                           Part 1
                                                           Part 2
                                                          Part 3

Go read those first then come back, I'll wait for you ;)....ok here we go!

Ahhh the college years, can we just stop and talk about how college for a "Normal" kid ends up in food problems.  You grow up with your mom taking care of the grocery buying, and food cooking ( most kids).  Then they send you off to school where there is a cafeteria (YUCK) with craptastic choices.


 Everyday choices were Pizza, burgers and fries, pasta ( with nasty sauce that's watered down), and then a grill to order that I never used...and a "Home cooked" line with fried things usually. Hmmm can't imagine why there is that Freshman 15!  Ohh and lets not forget my college who also had a special grill-to-order Pub with a coffee shop (yuck).

Yeah I am pretty sure I am the only kid to make it through college WITHOUT a coffee addiction!

I RARELY, and by that I mean probably 20 times my entire time at college, used the caf, except for a few times Fresh and Soph year they had late night with ONLY fried food and burgers.( super healthy choices right?)

I did however frequent the Pub, because their grilled chicken sandwich's were amazeballs (Flunk Day Holla)--> maybe someday I will share photos of the is amazing day that happened EVERY Year...until then here's a sneak peak.

Add in drinking more than 2 times a week (sorry mom) plus late night pizza, Wendy's and taco bell....you are just ASKING to gain A GAZILLION pounds.

However, I was still dealing with things from my past on top of new obstacles.

 I think one thing that kept me from gaining anything Freshman year was the fact that I had struggled with weight for a long time before.  I didn't gain a lb and by the end of freshman year I actually lost about 20, due to stressful situations I had never encountered before.

ringing of the bell- First Day of College (not the best picture but you can tell I didn't gain at all)

end of freshman year

Lets just say college guys can be HUGE jerks!  Growing up in a small town and being sheltered I was not truly prepared for anything that college had to throw at me.

Good news was I made a lot of really great friends that helped me survive!  I know that I am highlighting difficult moments from college, but lets be real, I did have a blast.

One of my "thinnest" moments!

I learned a LOT about myself. I was finally starting to find the Lindsay that I knew was in there.

I have always been VERY social. Ask my grade school teachers and they will tell you I was quite the chatterbox! ;)....I know I know..you are all VERY surprised!

I have always been a social butterfly, its my safe place. I love meeting new people and making new friends.  I definitely practiced the general form of socializing in college...drinking.

Those four years I formed a lot of bad habits. I picked up smoking (socially and then when stressed), binge eating on junk after drinking, binge drinking, and the dreaded starving myself so that I can save the calories for beer. YIKES!

If I could tell my college self one thing it would be...Learn the meaning of safe drinking. I did not have that in the bag by a long shot.  I did however survive college without anything bad happening to me.

Why am I sharing this? Well for one, its part of what molded me into the person that I am. I struggled with a lot of things and had still not dealt with the major issue...trying to fill the whole left in my heart. I looked in a lot of places and never could find what I was looking for....imagine that!  Guess what I was looking in all the wrong places, one place that I definitely did not look was Church and God.

I had forgotten how good it felt to let God have the control of healing.  I have since remembered this, and it has helped tremendously.

I can't quite explain what it was, but I can tell you once I started to let God back in and give him back some control I felt a sense of relief....(I am type A give me a break here)...After I met J I knew that I had come back to the light side and that dark path I had been on for so long was in the past forever.

I still have a drink every now and then, and I still let loose and party like old times on a RARE occasion- this girl can't play that game anymore very often...how the HELL did I do it more than once a week!?

well obviously drinking was involved

late summer/fall after I had yet again lost about 35 lbs( after regaining it all back)

I no longer starve myself ALL day so that I can drink at night..hello unhealthy! I have been a non smoker for 3 years, best decision of my life....that stuff makes me nauseous now! YUCK!

I feel so complete in so many ways now, that I can finally give myself the focus I deserve. I can focus on my body image issue, on my emotional eating, and my fear of losing my tatas if  when I get skinny....yes I have an irrational fear of them getting smaller- we have a love/hate relationship!

If you are still here after reading all of that, then go have a glass of wine...you deserve it! ;) Or a protein shake whichever floats your boat! Both sound pretty amazing to me right now!

Hmmm...is it an oxymoron to put Bailey's in a protein shake?.....just curious!

Weigh In Wednesday

Well its that time again. Last week I committed to doing the 10 week challenge over at Operation Skinny Jeans. Sunday I committed to doing the Skinny Mom 14 day Challenge.

Today is Wednesday, and although I have been slacking on the exercise, my food choices have been a MILLION times better!! Happy Weigh In Wednesday, go check out the hosts Erin and Alex

Thursday was fabulous, I push mowed half our yard (its not that big but it felt like it when push mowing) after running week 2 day 1 of C25K- I am pretty sure I have run week 2 about 50 times now and can NOT seem to finish this stupid app! I am determined to get this exercise thing under control!

Friday, not so good, Saturday wasn't terrible, and Sunday was Meh...you bet your booty I celebrated Cinco De Mayo with  a Jumbo Margarita and Chicken fajitas! ;)- It wasn't a horrible weekend but with not feeling the greatest Friday I may or may not have eaten frozen pizza...that just screams TERRIBLE!

The first time I started this app was last summer, I was doing awesome and I think I made it to week 5....holy crap y'all I was over half done and guess what happened....I re-injured my ankle. Our dang dog ran after an animal and I had to get in the big man truck to go after him, as I was getting back in the truck with dog in the back, I slipped on the running board and when I landed I rolled my left ankle.

This stupid ankle is about ready to be cut off! I am so sick of it hurting,and getting re-injured right when I get in the swing of things. It always ALWAYS throws me off and then I jump off the wagon!

This year my excuse has been the weather...hot cold hot cold rainy snowy...MAKE UP YOUR MIND mother nature. I am really starting to get pissy...but its not with the weather..its with me for using it as an excuse.

My dreadmill is ghetto fabulous and so its very difficult to run the app on. So my goal was finish the app up then you can run whenever on the dreadmill.  Well guess what folks that has not happened yet! I'm quite frustrated with myself...I love running...but this second time around has been more difficult than the first.

I feel like the first time I started the app it was a breeze to start, this time...nottttsomuch!

I know it will get easier if i can just commit to going whether I feel like poo,its raining, etc. I am putting this on here for accountability. Its never easy to admit defeat, and I know I have not been defeated, but I am feeling a little defeated....if that makes any sense.

I am not looking for a pity party, actually just the opposite. This is why I have posted it to the world! I will complete C25K- I even put it on my "goals" note in my phone ( it has my rewards listed for each pound section).

I am getting really excited to sign up for my races. I am also getting SUPER DUPER nervous for my first 5K it will not be to get a great time- its the Color Run, I just want to have fun!

As far as the two challenges I have started....#Osj10weekchallenge and #skinnymom14daychallenge, I AM LOVING IT! I weighed myself yesterday and went down 2 lbs. which puts my loss at 10.4 lbs. since starting my journey in January.

I will not be getting on the scale again until next week, but I feel like my food choices are back in check, thanks to Skinny Mom! I haven't followed the EXACT Meal plan, but I love it for the ideas.

Last night I tried a new recipe that I will share on Friday...I have decided that I am going to try and designate every Friday for new recipes!! So be watching out Friday for Spaghetti Squash Broccoli Alfredo with grilled Chicken.

Hope you all are having a Happy Happy Happy Hump Day!

Weekly Goals Check In Link up/Weekend Recap

Wow, I have been really slacking on the posts....sorry y'all! Soooo I am a day late on this link up because I swear I blinked and yesterday was ovahhhhh! That NEVER happens on a Monday!

Quick weekend recap- I WAS SUPER BUSY! The end...ok just kidding.

Friday night I was quite productive and cleaned up my tornado of a mess in our closet...I may or may not try clothes on and throw them on the floor...sorry I'm not sorry!

Saturday was lots of cleaning because we were having people over for dinner to celebrate our engagement...woop woop! I also cleaned out the fridge...yikes but I checked off that goal for the 10 week challenge even if I did start a little late!

Sunday we went to the Fireman's pancake breakfast. J is on our local fire department, and can I just say that volunteer firefighters are the bravest men I have ever met. Not only do they all work full time jobs, but they risk their lives voluntarily! True Heroes right there ( not that the paid ones are any less of Heroes). I love my firefighter and I am proud of our local guys!

After being at that from 6:30- 12 I was exhausted, attempted a nap but J decided we needed to go Mushroom hunting...I found my first mushrooms ON MY OWN!! :) I'm pretty sure about an hour of mushroom hunting results in eating 1 mushroom...holy calories with butter!

So I have not done this link up yet with Operation Skinny Jeans, BUTTTTTTTT I am all over this goal setting right now, and the scale told me this morning that it is WORKING!!!

Yesterday was Day 1 of the Skinny Mom 14 day challenge. So on top of starting the 10 week challenge with Operation Skinny jeans, I started this 14 day challenge to get me going. They give you a meal plan, grocery list andddd a daily work out. Although I haven't followed to the T. I did follow with my changes and I am down 2 lbs, which is crazy. I am not going to weigh myself again until next Monday!

So here are my Goals for this week:

1. Follow the Skinny Mom Meal plan through the weekend. ( I normally get off track on the weekends)

2. Lift weights 4 times this week for 20 minutes

3.  Weigh myself only once ( we all know that i have had an issue with the scale and that we broke up once before... read about that here)

Since I didn't do this link up last week I thought I would also set 3 goals for May, as if I haven't thrown enough goals in your faces...I may have found my new obsession...good thing is all of these will help me reach my 36 goals blog post found Here.

May Goals
1. Lose 8 lbs
2. Finish weeks 1-6 of C25K ( have decided to start running more than what they tell at least the first couple weeks)
3. Food journal every day here on out! ( again weekends are killer for me)

Check out my new gear from Ruffles with Love:

Her shirts are ADORABLE ANDDDDDDD she has super fast shipping!! :)

36 in 365 Challenge

So as I was stalking Operation Skinny Jeans blog, I came across this post of having 36 fitness goals in 365 days, and I absolutely LOVE it!

Operation Skinny Jeans

1.Lose 10 lbs
2. Lose 15 lbs
3. Lose 20 lbs
4. Lose 50 lbs
5. Goal Weight! BOOM
6.Run a mile under 10 minutes
7.finish C25K
8. Run 10 miles  in a row
9.Jillian Michaels 30 day shred
10. Complete Turbo Fire
11. Achieve "Jillian Michael's" arms
12. Begin to train for 1/2 marathon
13.  Toned back
14. Wear a single digit pant without the "muffin top"
15.Run a 5k
16.Run a 5k under 30 minutes
17. Run a 10k
18. Feel good in a bikini
19. Eat Clean for a month straight (30 days)
20. Walk from my town to my mom's and back (about 10miles apart-one way)
21. Hot Yoga class
22. Do a Hand Stand (Chalene Johnson is a beast!)
23. Buy a bike
24. 300 Ab Challenge
25. Buy a Medium cute top ( I am XL/L right now)
26. Get past plateau block of 30 lbs (every time I lose this is where I get STUCK)
27. Do 12 5K's
28. do a REAL push up
29. Do an Obstacle course Race (Mud run)
30. Squat Challenge
31. Buy Wedding Dress and NOT cry sad tears
32. Get rid of "Big" Lindsay clothes
33. Fit into My KLR goal dress
34. Be a success story this time around
35. Inspire others

This list was much harder than I had anticipated but I can NOT wait to start crossing things off of my list!! :) Here's to you: Strong, healthy Happy Lindsay! I will achieve greatness! What are your 36 goals for this year?!

Weigh in Wednesday-10 week challenge

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

 I actually look forward to weigh in Wednesdays every week, I love seeing all the progress and new ideas people have come up with!! YAY to becoming strong and HAWT classy ladies ( the last part may be stretching it some days for me)

Well I am happy to report that after a super craptastic weekend with my stomach, I dropped a few pounds. I have been stuck for awhile now.

I also planted my garden last night which isn't necessarily weightloss talk exactly BUTTT vegetables are a necessity for weight loss...love home grown veggies!!

 

Yesterday I posted about my #operationweddingdress plans. These plans will be added onto the 10 week challenge I'm joining in on!

I was just talking with my bff last night about how its weird, I want to look smokin hot in a wedding dress and then in a bikini for my honeymoon, but just can't get my ass in gear. Hell I would love to look smokin in a bikini this summer.

Is it possible? Borderline insane, but I truly think I could feel comfortable in a bikini this summer, maybe not the first day of summer, but summer is long!

 I digress, when I was talking to her, I said ya know I want to look good, I want to get healthy, that should be it there should be no "but's" BUT, I am so happy and content right now, I have no drive to get off my ass and MOVE! My eats are really manageable right now. They aren't FANTASTIC, nor would I want to continue to eat some of the things I eat on a regular basis (candy fever right now), but they are doable.

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out WHY I have to force myself to work out. I enjoy running, in fact I love it- I have talked about this on SEVERAL occasions ( Here, here and here).  So what is it that makes running at 5pm worse than running at 8am on the weekends ( that's easy peasy for me)?

I have come up with an idea and I HOPE that it works. I don't know about some of you readers but I AM an OCD organizer, I LOVE IT! When things are completely organized I am on cloud 9 and I seem to function at an extremely HIGH level. On the downside, when things are NOT organized or have become disorganized, I move into the same motions. I lose motivation for everything, I become overwhelmed.

I have created a list of my "bad" spots that become quickly unorganized. I am going to slowly organize each space WITH labels so J doesn't have to ask me a BAJILLION times where it goes! Does anyone else's hubby/bf/fiance do this?! IT DRIVES ME BONKERS!

We have lived in our house for over a year, and he STILL questions where the dishes go when they are done in the dishwasher..AGHHHHHH! How do you not know where the bowls go...do I live here alone?...no you def have dirty clothes everywhere...oh wait that's me with the clothes everywhere...oops! :)- end soapbox

Ok so here's the list, I am starting with the 1st challenge that Jess over at Operation Skinny Jeans has set out (go check out her blog she is amazeballs), the refrigerator. I have 3 things on my list tonight and I know that in 5 hours I should be able to accomplish all of them without messing up my dinner. (Run, Mow yard, organize fridge)
 
The fridge may have to wait until tomorrow, because the other two HAVE to happen tonight it is supposed to rain tomorrow and that means no mowing tomorrow!

        **Disclaimer: I started this post this afternoon and I in fact did NOT get the fridge tackled!)- on a side note I did get the lawn done and my run in! WOOP there it is!...I just went there!

The rest of the list of "bad" spots are as follow:

1. Fridge - Thursday Night
2. Pantry
3. Bedroom Closet
4. Bedroom Dresser- the last two are problematic b/c I make the excuse I "can't" work out b/c I don't know where my work out clothes are...ummm in a laundry basket clean more than likely!

Those are my big things that I need to organize fully so that I have no excuses ( I tend to use cleaning as an excuse to avoid all things that are "hard").

Happy Hump Day!