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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Back to my roots.....

So as I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out where I have gone wrong....it occurs to me, I have lost my passion.

My passion for being healthy for WANTING to live a healthy lifestyle.

My passion for cooking.

My passion for setting goals and keeping myself accountable!

I have been STUCK in the biggest RUT of healthy lifestyle thoughts that I literally have fallen face first off the damn wagon.

I shit you not...I have been cleaning dirt out of my teeth all damn week!

Tonight as I was racking my brain on what to cook for dinner...and decided on these disgusting jalapeno hot dogs and baked southwestern chips...it hit me like the hot dogs hit my stomach.

I used to LOVE cooking...I loved making up recipes..creating healthier dishes out of non healthy ones...then I tried to add 50 lbs of working out into all of that...PLUS trying not to eat so much artificial stuff...and let me tell you its EFFING HARD PEOPLE!
My brain literally did a freakin 180...and then I puked!

I stopped looking up fun new recipes to try.

Then I slowly stopped running....sigh...

and then Turbo went to the way side....double sigh

and amazingly enough the scale went up.....HOW DID THAT HAPPEN....ummmm let me think!

I originally started this blog because I wanted to share my love of cooking...and then it turned into healthy cooking ( I was straight up Paula Dean PRE diabetes y'all)...then it turned into healthy lifestyle.....

you all know where I'm going with that.....no where fast!

I am no longer able to get on Pinterest at work...HOW RUDE-seriously they expect me to work?! WTH!..I kid I kid...kinda

I actually just quit Pinterest all together..GHASP...I know...seriously its my heaven!.....BUT I felt like I was seeing the same Pins every time I looked.

As I was scrolling through tonight it hit me...see above...Why did I stop trying new recipes?

Why did I stop monthly meal plans?

This is probably the hardest one for me....I seriously NEVER know what to make for dinner when I get home....like EVER...so I either eat crap...or throw random things together like tuna...carrots and celery with Ranch...I'm awesome like that!

Why did I stop using my fantastic work out planner that I said would be my ticket?

WHY? Because I was trying to do 50 million things all at once...I was trying to eat healthy and by that I mean as clean as possible plus work out (which I wasn't doing before), plus make ERRYTHING from scratch....ain't nobody got time fo dat. 

I just simply over loaded myself with all things healthy and got burnt out!

I am running my first 5k on Saturday...and guess what I am not even CLOSE to being prepared..in fact if I make it through it without dying I will consider it a huge success!!
         PS I get my race packet tomorrow...is it weird that it's like Christmas for me?!

Then out of left field I am told I need to be wedding dress shopping right MEOW!.....ARE YOU SERIOUS...I do NOT want to see this in a BIG WHITE DRESS!

That is sooo not the feeling I want to have when trying on the dress for one of the most important and special days of my life.

I want to feel pretty.....but guess what I realized....I am pretty....I am smart...I am strong

So why is it that I don't feel those things...I know them but don't feel them? AM I CRAZY!?

No...just sucked into that lovely little thing called the media and air brushed fake people! 

Well I am done! I don't want to feel miserable anymore...I am on the right track for this lifestyle just on a big hiccup.

I have a LOT of races coming up and this is my first so I can only improve.

My eating habits have been well a lack there of lately BUT I know what works for me and I know HOW to eat healthy which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

I am going to make a new goal every day...and hope that I can just stick to that one goal and then add on from there! Seems simple right?!

Tonight- yes I have had a craptastic day...totally had fast food for lunch- and it was gross! BUT I am starting RIGHT NOW.....so 30 day ab challenge it is!!

So my goal for tomorrow....drum roll please....

           Log ALL OF MY FOOD tomorrow!+ 30 day ab challenge

Yes I know how to do this..yes I have done it in the past BUT I have gotten away from it!

My biggest problem time is between snack and lunch...I am going to plan out my food right now for tomorrow so there are no choice issues!

Friday: Log all of my food (this one will be tricky I have training ALL DAY so no blog post- we are LEAVING at 430 AM and won't be back til around 8ish..I know you are sooooo jealous of my job right now ;)) +30 day ab challenge AND No candy- I have been on a candy BINGE lately ( Sour patch kids didn't see it coming)

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