01 09 10

Friday, July 12, 2013

One step at a time

As I was scrolling through facebook at around 6am this morning...kill me now...I came across someones post..actually that someone is one of my favorite cousins...and he and his wife are complete running inspirations!!

His post said something about how the saying of "the first step is the hardest" must have been said by someone who didn't take the second step.

I can completely relate to this! I actually think the first step is THE easiest, especially when you are starting out and you are all excited about eating "healthier" and exercising...kind of like that "new year's resolution" syndrome.

What that person that said the quote obviously doesn't understand is what it is like to struggle through your entire journey.

The first day is the hardest? I call bull shit...the 10th day and the 100th day and the 500th day, those can be the hardest...especially if you haven't seen the results you want.

However, I am trying to think in a positive manner, so what could I learn from the thoughts I have on those really "trying" days....well for starters how HARD am I "trying"?

Did I put in 100% for food and exercise...No? Well there is the issue! The solution however is much harder....how do I fix this problem?

I have been struggling with this question for the last 7 months.....well 15 years if you want to get technical!

What is it that makes me work my butt off for a few months and then fall back into old habits?

Well for starters...fad diets and "magic pills"...they are probably the closest thing to the devil right here on earth..they give false hopes of unicorns and fairy lands where people become skinny in 3 weeks by taking magic pills or not eating carbs EVER or eating 200 calories for 6 weeks....while those things MAY work for a short period of time...hell some people rock their results for a LONG time..I take my hat off to you...however ME....

I fit into the 75% of Americans...yeah I pulled that out of my ass....it sounded good right? who do those diets or take those pills for a few months and then go back to what they were doing because Damn it, it sucks taking a pill every day or NEVER EVER touching carbs....although carbs aren't my weakness...I do love a good sandwich...and NO lettuce does not taste the same as bread...so get that out of your head...its ok sometimes..but you know I just need a good strong piece of bread to hold my mayo and mustard in place not squeeze out the bottom! Lets not forget about potatos....now thoseeee are a weakness! And don't EVEN get me started on simply drinking a protein shake EVERY DAY...FOREVER for a meal...I like my salty foods, and although I can do meal replacements every once in awhile or definitely after a workout...it is not something I could or would want to commit to forever...I love food!

So back to the whole "first step is the hardest"....I could not disagree more, and I truly feel that in order to have a journey worth fighting for, none of it will be easy...its going to be hard...and its going to suck sometimes..but that's what makes the hard work and end result that much better......at least that's what I am hoping for..

I look at it this way...I take care of my material things like ipad,camera, car-ok maybe I used to take care of this, shoes (hell they get put back in the box with tissue paper), phone, etc because I worked my butt off to pay for them...or they were a gift :)...but still why would I want to destroy something that I put in hours of work to earn the money for?

Now HOW do I get my brain to think this way about my body?  I am slowly but surely realizeing that I work way to hard at eating right and working out to give that up for a plate of Nachos but damn they are good  or a large shake from Whitey's (THE best ice cream on the planet) every weekend?

Now does this mean I deprive myself or that I should...HELL NO...and in fact I am 2 days into being back on track since my vacation of 3 weeks...yeah the week before vacation was awful so I tacked it on...BUT I got on the scale today and went down 2 lbs....2 lbs of water I am sure! I allow myself ice cream if I am feeling it and I have done really well or worked out super hard that day. I think its fine to indulge, and in fact everything I have read (I am a big researcher) says you SHOULD indulge every now and then. So if I am craving a brownie...I eat ONE, just not 5 or 6. 

I feel like I am falling back into being focused on the outcome and so much on what I can't eat....emotional stress is a tricky little devil.  Sometimes it makes me want everything horrible like taco bell, cookies, candy and pop.... but when I eat it it makes me feel miserable for the next 3 hours...and its not even just the "eater's remorse"....its actual physical pain because my body said WTF...this stuff is not doing anything for me today!

I feel like this post is a rambled jumbled hot mess...but I felt it needed said...so for those of you just beginning your journey, or those that are finished know that you are not alone! I feel the frustration almost daily, but then I remember why I am going to all this trouble...to feel good and know that I will be around for all of the important things I want to see and do.

I don't know if I have mentioned it on here, but I have high blood pressure and take a prescription for it. I am only 27 and I certainly do NOT want to be on meds for the rest of my life...and yes I hear this all of the TIME "but you are so young"....I realize that...but I can't just tell my blood pressure to lower...obviously I would if I could...I have a tendency to get overly excited about things...and not just in a happy way ( anxiety much).

I want to be able to be on zero meds when we get pregnant..NO that is not right now....but I have to think ahead, because we want to start right away!

So not only do I want to be healthy for me, look good in my wedding dress, and feel good, BUT I want to be healthy for my future children...if that's not motivation I don't know what will be for me!

SO just for sticking around for that Hot mess post...here is a couple of my favorite quotes to get you through your weekend!...You're welcome

Happy Friday!

1 comment:

  1. I am a new follower of your blog and just had to say that I absolutely love this entry!

    I am feeling the same way you are...I want so bad to loose weight to feel good in my wedding dress next Spring and be healthy...but I tend to fall off the wagon sometimes then beat myself up for it....I have to remember that this will be a long journey!

    Good luck! I look forward to follow your journey!



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