01 09 10

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I'm BAAACCCCKKKKK

well Hello my lovely blogger friends!

It seems like forever since I have written a post...oh wait it has been....sorry I was MIA on my vacation!

This may be a rather long post..but oh well..you have been warned ;)

I am not even sure where to start on this post, but I guess I will start with my "pick myself up"

I have been reading a lot that in order to fail you just quit and never pick yourself up!

Well I have concluded I have not yet failed, because I have NOT given up! I know I can do this I just needed to reach the point I reached on vacation ( again)!

I have been really struggling..and I MEAN STRUGGLING!

I "did" the 10 day cleanse on THE worst possible week ever....Cake testing, work stress (lots of changes), and packing for vacation....I was completely insane to think that I could add a cleanse to put 100 percent into and think that it would actually work out!..UM NO!

I will do a mini vacay post but I wanted to get this out, because I am picking myself back up today!

I will not let food get the best of me...I will not let it win!

Towards the end of our vacation I started making a "fresh start" list!



I am going to purge my pantry and fridge (really well) this time! I want to re organize the pantry. It is about half way to user friendly!

I want it to be labeled so that J knows where to find things and doesn't say "Hey, why don't we have this?"...when we do...

I am going to add some things to reorganize the freezers as well! ( I will do a post when they are all finished)

I am definitely at a point of no return! I am getting closer and closer to the the day I say I do..and I don't want to have in the back of my mind "what if I would have worked a little harder last summer?"

I know I can do this, I have done it before, but the comfort has been setting me back.  The comfort of my relationship with J...knowing that he loves me how I am has created a pit of slacking to not push myself!

I am gonna be REALLLL honest with you right now....I am super afraid my boobs will shrink...I know I know..sounds dumb right? They are the one asset that I have had physically that has attracted boys in the past.

Now reading that as I typed it, that sounds horrible...guys don't love you for your body...they like you for your body...Men love you for who you are!  I know that J will love me no matter how I look which is a bonus that skinny girls don't get! (BOOM)

I have never had to lose weight WITH a guy, I have always lost weight while being single, it is MUCH harder to lose weight when you are in a relationship, especially a good one that has comfort in it!

 When I cook dinner, because J is picky, I always have to think about what I am making- "will he eat it? will he like it? How can I hide healthy things?"

It is so much easier when you are alone, because you only keep what YOU can eat, and you only fix what YOU will eat! Now I have another person, and he isn't your average man with a bottomless pit that will eat anything that is edible...nooooo he is picky..and his biggest issue is with vegetables....AWESOME!

I am getting to the point of being a mom and saying "if you don't like what I fix, there is PB and jelly make a sandwich!" maybe that will get him to eat what I fix....but then the domestic woman in me comes out and  I think I can't have him going hungry! (Catch 22?)

So for now I will focus on getting myself to love cooking again, I didn't really lose it but I overwhelmed myself with all of the food information and my brain had a melt down!

I am also getting back on track with logging food...I have already found that it is MUCH easier to log a day in advance...and then you are able to tweak it and add or subtract as day goes on!

The other things on my list are to update my running play list ( helps motivate me to go out!) AND we will be moving Tikka's kennel ( the puppy) to another room so I can get back to Turbo Fire!!  
 
loving this song right now!!

She is in the living room right now which causes difficulty and of course both dogs want to be right under my feet....awesome.

How do you get back on track after vacation?


And just because I can....here's a picture from last night...offered floor seats 9th row to the Matchbox Twenty/Goo Goo Dolls concert last night..and it was FANTASTIC!!!!

my baby brother is better than yours- Great concert!!!-nice photo bomb dude!




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