FINALLY over the Hump!!

So I have been STRUUUGGLLINNN like a train going up hill with no coal trying to get this weight off but I kept getting discouraged.

I would get in a routine of eating really well and working out and the scale wouldn't budge! Not a damn ounce! It was very frustrating to "think" you are trying your hardest and not see any results.

Welllll I wasn't exactly putting in 100% on food or working out. I would lift weights here, run a day of c25k there...and watch what I ate during the week...then the weekend would come, and I would let myself have that pop ( that I had tried to give up), I would eat a thing of skittles or a bag of gardehttos for lunch ( super nutritious right?? but so yummy...well the garedehttos didn't feel so guilty but I felt awful after the skittles)

It was a never ending cycle....well guess what I FINALLY broke the cycle this weekend! :)

I have lost 6 lbs since THursday ( mostly water I am sure) and the best PART...I lost through the weekend...do you know HOW long it has been since I have done that?! WINNING!

I couldn't be more pleased with myself...well yes I could if I had worked out every day since Thursday when I started eating better...but first things first.

I realized that when I kept giving things another go..I would overwhelm myself with so many things, and then get burnt out, not see any results and quit for a week. Then I'd try again. I had no consistency and it showed

Last Thursday I went to the grocery store ( one of my favorite places to be- fun fact: I love grocery shopping, but hate grocery prices).

I have figured out what foods work for me to stay on track ( eggs are a MUST). So I thought I would give you a break down of the foods I bought:

Frozen Chicken breast ( I would love to switch to organic soon)
grapes
strawberries
Organic Mixed baby greens
Romaine Lettuce (Whole)
Ezekiel Cinnamon Raisin Bread
Green Peppers ( until ours come in)
Onions
Red Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes
Avocado
String Cheese
Justin's Almond Butter (its a treat I don't buy it every time I run out)
Granny Smith Apples

Etc, Etc, Etc- I am really trying to just buy 70% produce 15% meats (we have a lot of freezer space which comes in handy when there are huge sales) and 15% of other. Eating is half the battle..the other half is my brain- telling me not to work out, telling me I can't do more.

Isn't it awful that most often we are our own worst enemies?....So Sad!

This is my first attempt at this percentage and so far its working great...I eat every 2-3 hours...if it hasn't been 3 hours after a meal and I am feeling hungry I eat protein ( I am a protein eater, it makes me feel satisfied- I took a test to see what my body type was...I wasn't surprised)

I will say that this time around I am counting EVERY SINGLE thing that goes in my mouth! I am talking taco seasoning, veggies like celery that have "0" calories, EVERYTHING...you may be able to fool others for a short period of time, hell you can probably fool yourself into thinking that you are doing everything possible to be healthy, but after awhile it catches up with you!

Now am I a lot healthier than a year ago..ABSOLUTELY! I have gained a LOT of knowledge through others, research and just my body telling me what it wants.

Learning to listen to yourself is a huge task for someone who is an emotional eater.  I have just made the decision that I don't want to be controlled by my job stress, food or anything else anymore.

Everything we do has a consequence and it will either be positive or negative. I want my choices to start having a positive affect on my life.

I had lost about 20 lbs last spring and of course gained it all back, but I remember when I got to that point I felt awesome!

I felt good after workouts.

I wasn't as crabby.

I wasn't as tired, I could actually get something done at night besides sitting on my butt watching tv!

In fact not only did I GET things done...but I actually WANTED to do them. It wasn't forced, and I didn't need a reward of do these dishes and you can sit an watch tv!

I am getting back to that point without even working out yet, but I know there will be tough days ahead of me.

I know that I will get tired of thinking of different meals, but there was one thing that I read that really stuck with me.

When you are struggling to get back on course after a short derailment, look back to your food diary and see what you ate and what you were doing when you were doing really well.

This speaks volumes! I know right now I am on a roll, and I know that I will hit a wall soon, BUT I am not giving up this time! ( I realize I have said this before, but I feel different this time)

I guess I can put it this way....we all remember that first time we THOUGHT we were drunk....if you say this didn't happen I call bull shit!

And then we actually GOT drunk, and it was a wholllleee different ball park! I am talking ball parks states away!

That "buzz" feeling I get now is pretty darn close to what I thought "drunk" was way back then!  Mind you I was 17....I know how awful of me...but I wasn't a partier (clearly) and this was my attempt at being bad ass instead of the goodie two shoes I was seen as.

My best friend and I often joke that we wish we could go back and melt our two experiences together, but then we wouldn't be who we are.

Experiences change us, they change how we react to things, how we feel about things, and how we feel about others who haven't gone through jack shit.

But reality is I went through what I did, and there's nothing anyone can say or do that will change that.

So you either make the decision to let all of your bad experiences control you, or use them to your advantage and push through them and blow everyone out of the damn water!

Will I feel like I am starving some days..hell yeah...2-3pm is the WORST for me! Will I have "fat" days...uhhhh duh! Will I give up...NO, why? because I can't...there is no way I am giving up on myself this time! I deserve better! So here's to all of us who are tired of bullying ourselves...who are tired of eating our emotions. Here's to new possibilities and new outlooks on ourselves!