I have reasons why I haven't blogged, but most of it boils down to poor time management. I honestly have been completely overwhelmed with the fact of starting a new job, planning a wedding ( which is in less than 6 months by the way AHHHHH), and falling off the wagon, getting back on and falling off again.
I had fallen into one of the BIGGEST states of I don't give a rats ass (when it comes to food) that I have been in, in a LONG LONGGGGGG time.
I mean I was full out embarrassed and disgusted with myself when I got on the scale.
Tonight I saw myself in a picture with my girlfriends I grew up with and I was appalled. How did this happen? How did I let myself get to this point? Was I really that blind to how far I had gotten out of control?
One thing you need to understand if you are a new or old reader, is that A. if you are here you might also have a food addiction, if that is the case you know fully and understand 100% what I am about to say. If you are group B. and you haven't really had a food issue- no eating disorder of any kind, no real emotional connection to food...I.E my lovely fiancé....then you can never understand why that one slice of pizza after 3 pieces holds such a powerful hold on you.
How you can make goals for yourself and promise that you will follow through but you brain once again defeats you. How you can make promises to other people ABOUT them or FOR them, but if it even has the slightest bit to do with you personally then you may drop it like a damn fly!
Why can I go above and beyond for everyone but myself? That stops now! I am tired of being tired, I am tired of feeling sick after eating foods that I know will make me feel yucky (fried foods, lots of white breads, etc)
I recently bought Chris Powell's new book, and by recently I mean 2 days ago. I "read" it in a few hours- and I absolutely needed it.
It really helped me realign my thoughts. I have been thinking about carb cycling A LOT lately. I did it once before and had a significant loss, however I gave it up after an ankle flare up and my heart just wasn't in it.
I realize that I am not going to be able to be perfect 100% of the time forever, and I am ok with that. BUT if I can be 99.9% for the next 6 months I know that I can hit my goal and do it in a healthy manner.
I want you all to join me in my journey to regaining back my life- both my mind and physical parts.
I know that my fiancé loves me regardless of how I look, but I don't love me everyday, and THAT is NOT ok!
I love when Skinnymeg talks about how you don't have to be skinny, fit, or anything else to be happy.
That is oh so true. I WILL allow myself to be happy, I WILL allow myself to indulge every now and then ( I get a free day once a week) I WILL hold myself accountable this go round.
I know what you are all thinking..."sureeee, how many times will she tell us before she actually follows through!?" WELL GUESS WHAT...I am sooooo glad you asked! This is it! I am the only one who has the ability to change my life, and I am taking back control.
I am also starting the Advocare Cleanse for the 3rd time ( 3rd times a charm right?) I am starting it on Oct 28th! What are you favorite clean recipes?
***Side note, although this picture shows citrus I will be doing the peaches and cream like the first round...the citrus shit is NASTAY! even mixed in with OJ....you are plain bat shit crazy if you think that shit is drinkable/edible. BLECK!
Will you join me in this crusade against my food demons?!
I am hoping to be released in the next couple weeks from my accident ( RIDONCULOUS that it has gone on this long). Once I am released its back to running- I am not giving up on my 12 races just yet...I have a LOT of making up to do, and if I have to do my own 5k's then so be it! Maybe I can even get some of my lovely bloggers to do some virtuals with me :) (Mel, Sammi, Holly, Lori and anyone else who wants to add in on some support...a girl can use all she can get!)
If you are reading this, I want to thank you for not giving up on me. Sometimes you have to take a break from what you love so you can remember why it is you fell in love with it. For me, that is blogging. This post is so motivating and therapeutic for me. I don't even care if anyone reads this.
Look for some updating posts in the next few days. Customer support week was LAST week and it was AMAZEBALLS, I also have a few recipes to share :)
much love!
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