When I was 14 years old I lost the best man I had ever known. I was a daddy's girl and my world was completely turned upside down. I gained nearly 40 lbs in less than a year and it showed. I hate looking at my 8th grade graduation pictures I look so swollen, and I remember how painful it was to walk into the stores to find a dress (yes we did that). I wanted to look like everyone else, because lets face it the rest of my world did not fit in with anybody else ( at least that is what I thought). My anger and sadness grew daily, but what did I do? well I ate my feelings. It seemed to work for me (insert: BS comment). I was miserable, and it showed from the outside in. So of course what comes after 8th grade graduation? High school. So not only was I miserable and feeling disgusting I was starting what was supposed to be some of the best years of my life. I knew I needed to do something, but since my dad went to every sporting event I had in Jr. High, playing them without him there seemed so wrong, and even more painful. As I write this, I am tearing up, not because I am sad, but because I am so grateful to have learned so much in 12 years.
So I started from square one, I counted calories. I didn't "exercise" outside of school because I figured P.E. was enough. Little did I know then, but I needed something I could continue on, and pickle-ball just isn't realistic. I still had not learned the true meaning of being healthy. All I was focused on was wearing the clothes that my friends were wearing. Now mind you I never really got made fun of
So counting calories worked I lost about 30 lbs, and kept most of it off. I tried the hearbalife one summer as well....umm BARF..gritty milk shakes are not my idea of delicious. On to fad number 3, Starvation- yeah that didn't so much stick more than a couple days, although I did attempt another form later on. Once in college, I stayed pretty neutral, no freshman 15 for this girl, but I already needed to lose still. I ended up gaining some back, and lost another 20 lbs by just not eating- boys and college are stressful and this girl had not gotten over the emotional eating or lack there of. That summer I gained some back- I looked fairly unhealthy before.
TO BE CONTINUED........
xoxo, Lindsay
I gotta say, Lindsay, I really, honestly like you. I mean you aren't just my husband's (dare I say best? :) )friend's girlfriend. I really do think of you as a true friend. I think you are beautitful, on the inside and out. Honestly, I'm not just saying that. I understand why you want to get healthy, we all need to be healthy. I'm not saying you are beating yourself up, but if you are internally, when noone is around, don't. I think we are all too hard on ourselves. Yea, we all want to be at a healthy weight, but if we are beging 100% real, we want to be hot for our man not just healthy. Don't forget that you are already there. You have an amazing heart and the best personality. I love hanging out with you. Just wanted to give you some love. :)
ReplyDeleteOk lady, you managed to make me laugh and tear up in one comment. I think its safe to say best friend...lol sometimes I think they would marry each other if not for the whole being straight thing ;). I feel the same way about you. Thank you so much for the comment. I used to be really hard on myself, and I am slowly getting away from that but I still have that fat girl in my mind that can't see what others do. I think that God plans everything for a reason, and I know with out a doubt you were one of those plans for me. I know we will be friends for a long LONG time. I am so grateful for your friendship and encouragement. I tell myself every morning- Progress NOT Perfection, and so far it is helping me, along with encouragement from others! <3 Here's to just being healthy and not worrying about the rest...well except for that being hot for our man thing ( although J says he already is)so I guess maybe just the healthy part ;) I am a lucky girl!
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